Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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