You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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