I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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