Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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