You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
