I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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