Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
