i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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