I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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