I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
is it fun? or sober?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
