i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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