Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
