so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i think i just lost a toe
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
