she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
