its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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