no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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