She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
