I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
