i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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