I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
