literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
