Non-Jews are for practice
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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