i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
