i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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