Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
