currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
NoShamevember. You game?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
