there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
