I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
