i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
