Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she peed on how many people?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
