If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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