The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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