So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
