HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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