will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
