remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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