You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize