I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
