There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I love you. Go after that dick
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
