Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
