I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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