a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
