And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
