Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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