Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
