I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
