sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
