I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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