Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
