My nipple is on Facebook.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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