I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
