he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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