I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
