at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
