i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My bed smells like the plague
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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