We named our party play list daddy issues
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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