Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
