just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
