don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
