dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
