and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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