just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
