porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
