Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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