last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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