Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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