did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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