you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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